slightly rewritten ending of weber's phantom
by L.M.T.G
Summary: insanity! carlotta falls through the floor,raoul's new nickname is poodle boy! slightly ooc...definatly strange.


Disclaimer: *sigh*so no...i don't own phantom...*big pout*anyway,i want to.anyone have any idea how much it'd cost to buy erik for the night?er...i mean...just go ahead and read o.o;  
  
Toward the end of the Andrew Lloyd Weber play,everyone's coming down to kick Erik's ass,Christine is being her usual dippy self,and Sir Fopsalot is standing with a noose around his neck. The perfect happy photo.  
  
Erik: *shaking Raoul around by the neck* So do you end your days with me,or do you send him to his GRAVE?  
  
Raoul: *looking a bit green* why make her..*hiccup*...lie to you to save...um...me?  
  
Christine: *thinking,she doesn't say anything and is rather blankly ignoring sir fopsalot*  
  
Erik: *music starts to wind down*...um.... Christine....  
  
Christine: *looks up*oh!*sings* wishing you were somehow here again-  
  
Raoul: ...that was a couple scenes ago....  
  
Erik: ...kinda...  
  
Christine: *blinks,sees Raoul*AAAHHH! Erik! What's the fop doing here?!  
  
Erik: ...*looks at Raoul*...why do we bother?  
  
Raoul: idunno...  
  
Erik: ..oh well.*shakes him around a bit more* as I was saying.... So do you end your days with me,or do you send him to his GRAVE?  
  
Christine: ewwwww...but then he'd be all icky and dirty...  
  
Erik: *grin* and decaying too.  
  
Raoul and Christine: eeeeeewwwwwwwwww...  
  
Mob: We're coming,to kick your ass Erik,because...you killed two people who...deserved to die anyway! Even though one had no place in the plot in the first place!  
  
Random guy in the mob: Revenge for Buquet! Revenge for Piangi! ^.^ I'm so special 'cuz I got an extra line.  
  
Erik: ....I kill two people and everyone thinks I'm such a bad person...pff...  
  
Raoul: *coughs* weren't you gonna hang me?  
  
Erik: ...don't push me poodle boy.  
  
Christine: that's a new one. he does kinda look like a poodle...  
  
Raoul: *looks annoyed* woof.  
  
Erik: *pauses then grabs a dog biscuit and begins to choke Raoul with a dog biscuit*  
  
Raoul: arc-argh!  
  
Christine: double ewwies!  
  
Carlotta: *falls through the ceiling and lands on Erik*  
  
Erik: AH! get the toad off of me! I'm gonna get warts!  
  
Carlotta: *cries*that's hurtful...you just killed my boyfriend... ...well....  
  
Raoul: the idiot who followed you around all the time kissing your ass as much as the managers?  
  
Carlotta: YEAH! ..hey...if you gained some weight you could pass as him....  
  
Erik: *starting to pass out since he can't breath,Christine is tugging on his leg*  
  
Raoul: O_O PHANTOM KILL ME NOW!!  
  
Carlotta: ..HONEY! *pounces on Raoul..unfortunatly,the Punjab doesn't snap,so she all but breaks his neck*  
  
Raoul: *gags*  
  
Erik: *stands up panting* can't...*pant*...feel...my...spinne...  
  
Christine: hey..I could give you a back rub,then we could have a make out session and stuff...  
  
Erik: *eyes shine* realllllly?  
  
Christine: uh huh!  
  
Female Audience: *don't believe her,since she's already betrayed poor Erik once.the bitch.*  
  
Male Audience: *think* 'finally,all that shrieking's going to be put to good use...'  
  
Christine and Erik: *run off to his room,which is somewhere off stage,lots of smooching sounds are heard*  
  
Raoul: *can apparently see this going on* Christineee.....Christineeeee...why....WHY?!  
  
Erik: *from off stage* now you know how it feels FOP!  
  
Christine: ignore him Erikins!*more smooching sounds*  
  
Carlotta: *looking offstage*...  
  
Raoul: *cries and whines* I want someone to kiss me tooooo...  
  
Carlotta: *grins* okayyyy..  
  
Raoul: AH! no! not you! God! PLEASE not you!  
  
Mob: *shows up* hey! we finally got here! yahoo!  
  
Raoul: *looks back at mob*...aren't there any hot chicks here except for Christine?  
  
Meg: I'm cute...  
  
Random guy who had more than just the 'track down this murderer' song: *checks her out* yep,you are. wanna go on a date?  
  
Meg: okay.  
  
Rgwhmtjttdtms: cooliness!  
  
Raoul: *whines*  
  
Carlotta: *hangs off his body* seeee? we're meant to be!  
  
Raoul: CHRISTINE!!!!! HEEEEEELLLPPP!!!  
  
Carlotta: Noone can help you now lover boy!  
  
Mob Guy 1: *tosses Carlotta a knife*there ya go girly!   
  
Carlotta: yay! *cuts Raoul down*  
  
Raoul: *screams and tries to scamper away*  
  
Carlotta: *catches him by the 'leash' on his neck* oh no you don't.  
  
Raoul: *sobs as he is dragged off*  
  
Carlotta: *grab the boat,throws him in it and starts them across the lake*  
  
Raoul: *continues to sob*  
  
Carlotta: *singing* SAYYYY you'll share with meeeeee one loooovvveeee one lifetimeeeeee....  
  
Raoul: NO  
  
Carlotta: GRRR *dunks him in the lake* sing bastard!  
  
Raoul: uh...*whimper* say...the word...and...I will follow you..?  
  
Carlotta: yay! WORD!  
  
Raoul: *wails* why meee..Christine I lovvvvvvveeeee yyyyyoooooouuuuuu...  
  
Christine: *off stage* of course I'll marry you Erik!  
  
Erik: Yippy!   
  
The end. Or the way it should have been. 


End file.
